Movement(23)

Visibility can be uncomfortable for business owners whether they’re beginners or not.
You are the face of the business so of course it can feel intimate and raw and intimidating. If your goal is to be going live for instance, you can do it while gritting your teeth or you can work on making it more comfortable. (Maybe both at once)

Movement(23)

Being visible Is More Than Showing Your Face In Your Marketing.

It can also include:

  • Showing up when things aren’t great
  • People knowing where you’re a beginner or not an expert
  • Your prices or discounts being visible
  • Things about your physical body like age, weight, fitness level, ability or disability, use of an aid. 
  • Your space or family members in the background of pictures of video
  • Markers of your class or income bracket 
  • Markers of how you voted or what you stand for
  • Maybe certain people (family, coworkers) knowing you’re in business at all 

All of these are about being yourself in public. Being yourself instead of a persona.

It’s often about the fear of being judged for some aspect of your whole self. There is a middle of the road between oversharing and hiding; my shorthand for that is being yourself. No matter what it sounds like many like me know that it is not easy to know and accept all the parts of your self, much less express those parts. 

I’ll look at this topic through my usual 3 lenses of language, embodiment, and lasting habits (the 4 Ps).

Use Your Words

First, your words. Your inner voice is hugely important. Your words both describe and create your reality. 

This applies for visibility in your business too. If your chat with a friend is about how you just aren’t good at marketing and wish you could figure out how to get away with not doing it, just the fact of you making that statement stands in the way of your making progress in this area.
So be very careful how you are talking to yourself, and once you’re aware of an unproductive pattern you can shift it. 

The word that comes up as a red flag in this pattern is JUST.

The most common example is “Just asking” – adding this at the end of a question to soften it.
Not demanding you change, just asking a question.
Not holding you accountable, just asking a question. “Just” is almost always superfluous or counterproductive.
Using “just” is Minimising your thing, your question, your offer, your self.

Similarly don’t use “little” to describe your amazing products and services, not even if you dress it up as “wee”. 

This is super common and you might hate that I’ve pointed it out because you’ll hear it everywhere now.  A little side business. Yep I published a book, just a short one.
A wee course I built. Yeehaw, you have a course? You wrote a book? Tell me! 

You don’t have to tell us your thing is tiny or new or “just off the top of my head”. It can be amazing anyway, and part of you knows your thing is great. A different part of you might be caught up in comparing the thing as it exists now with the grand vision for its future that you have, but it’s a mistake to allow that comparison. You can describe it accurately without diminishing it. 

A different example: For me when I’m leading a class, putting “just” in front of an instruction is minimising the difficulty of it, or the newness, or individual variations, and it can feel terrible as a student. 

If I said right now “Just feel your feet on the floor” that makes it sound like the easiest thing in the world and we all know there are times when that’s completely out of reach.
This is why I don’t say “just be yourself” in a slogan-y way because I know that is a process. (I call it Identity, Agency, and Solidity.)

Sometimes it is enough to leave out the word “just”. (Sometimes you’ll decide to leave it in.) And sometimes you’ll want a new statement to replace the old one. The powerful phrases I use here include: I am, I am here, this is me. 

Note that it doesn’t have to include “and this is awesome” or “I am awesome”.  I encourage you to try it with no judgments at all, not even positive ones. “This is me.”  

I love using as a mantra the powerful tune This is Me from the Greatest Showman. When my choir toured Japan we performed this song multiple times, and it’s always grounding and empowering.

Movement(16)

Embodiment Work

What’s your reaction to the idea of going Live? You might be 100% comfortable or 0% comfortable today. 
Important to remember the principle of 1% better. It makes a huge difference over time.
Today you aren’t going to go from zero to a hundred and probably not from zero to fifty. If you’re at zero, aim for 1/100 for this time. The workshop including calming and rejuvenating throughout. 

The reason to do embodiment work is to get to know yourself better and to be able to choose what you’re doing. In this case: to remember that it’s okay to be yourself, and to build the skill of being visible in your business. 

For the Embodiment Exercises – Join By Registering Here.

None of the movements are athletic and they are explicitly meant to be not-strenuous.
No matter what you can choose the level that’s right for you and I never intend you to put your body in a painful position, for instance if your arms don’t want to be fully up in extension, definitely don’t do it. I’ll offer alternatives in videos and working privately we can explore even more.
On the other hand if it feels good to your arms but your stomach does a little flip-flop, then you’re in the perfect place for growth. The idea of this workshop is a challenge for your mind delivered via your body. 

You’re probably aware that some neurodiversities come with higher sensitivity to being perceived. If that‘s you, remember the 1% rule, and also remember this is for changes you want to make, nothing is forced on you.  No matter where on the scale you start, you can adjust your position a bit. If you want that. 

For practicality I recommend when you are scheduling a webinar or whatever feels like “the edge” for you, let yourself have explicitly scheduled rest time before and after so you can charge up & recharge. LET yourself create a way that works WELL for you, not just sufficient but what would make it great – if you had more rest? Okay, good. (We can even work together on your ability to rest!)

Many more tips in the class so sign up to get the recording even if you can’t attend live.

Movement

Gracefully Build Lasting Change With These Supports

Lastly the “four Ps” which give you an extra push towards making a lasting change in your comfort with visibility. Making the change last requires more than wanting it. 

Permission: Give yourself permission to look silly or say something wrong or alienate someone etc. Social permission is super important too which is why the People section below also includes   

Practice: Do the practices frequently in small doses. Do a little bit of practicing going Live eg with friends or a smaller group, while continuing to push yourself towards the full enchilada (eg on your page)

People:  Unfollow those whose social media makes you feel bad (really do it, even if they’re a leader, your old mentor, your closest competitor, someone who used to feel great to you). Block those who you don’t want to see your stuff. Most important: a peer group for you — business owners who get it and who can encourage each other by being themselves. 

Pragmatics: Do dress up, face the window, pick the time of day. Batch so you have something in the tank if it’s a bad day and you just can’t.

Questions to consider: What kinds of visibility are easy for you, and where is it more difficult? What could make it easier or smoother for you?
How does your business visibility relate to any other kind of social or societal “out of the closet” ness.

Are You Ready To Move?

My passion is helping you discover resources you didn’t know you had. The wisdom of your body is waiting there untapped, and it’s an important ally in your quest to be the best boss you can.
Let me know what you’d like to work on together.

Shift your experience as a business owner in just one session. Be more confident, more patient, more focused, and while being loving to yourself.