A common request that people come to me with is, how can I make myself get on video?
Visibility can be uncomfortable for business owners whether they’re beginners or not.
You are the face of the business so of course it can feel intimate and raw and intimidating.
If your goal is to be on video, you can do it while gritting your teeth, or you can work on making it more comfortable. (Maybe both at once)
Being “visible” is more than whether your face is showing or not.
Being visible can also include:
- Showing up when things aren’t great
- People knowing where you’re a beginner or not an expert
- Your prices or discounts being visible
- Things about your physical body like age, weight, fitness level, ability or disability, use of an aid.
- Your space or family members in the background of pictures of video
- Markers of your class or income bracket
- Markers of how you voted or what you stand for
- Maybe certain people (family, coworkers) knowing you’re in business at all
All of these are about being yourself in public. Being yourself instead of a persona.
Lack of visibility in business is often about the fear of being judged for some aspect of your whole self. There is a middle of the road between oversharing and hiding; my shorthand for that is being yourself. You probably know that it is not easy to know and accept all the parts of your self, much less express those parts. Embodiment, strengthening your mind-body connection can help.
I’ll look at this topic through my usual 3 lenses of language, embodiment, and creating lasting habits (the 4 Ps).
Part 1: Use Your Words
First, your words. Your inner voice is hugely important. Your words both describe and create your reality.
This applies for visibility in your business too. If your chat with a friend is all about how you just aren’t good at marketing and wish you could figure out how to get away with not doing it, just the fact of you making that statement stands in the way of your making progress in this area.
So be very careful how you are talking to yourself, and once you’re aware of an unproductive pattern you can shift it.
Part 2 - Embodiment Exercise
What’s your reaction to the idea of going Live? You might be 100% comfortable or 0% comfortable today.
It’s important to remember the principle of 1% better — it makes a huge difference over time.
Today you aren’t going to go from zero to a hundred and probably not from zero to fifty. If you’re at zero, aim for 1/100 for this time. The workshop includes calming and rejuvenating throughout.
Stretch yourself a little, soothe yourself a little, psyche yourself up a little, and go again.
The reason to do embodiment work is to get to know yourself better and to be able to choose what you’re doing. In this case: to remember that it’s okay to be yourself, and to build the skill of being visible in your business.
For the Embodiment Exercise video — don’t just watch, give it a try yourself.
Part 3 – Gracefully Build Lasting Change With These Supports
Lastly let’s have a look at the “four Ps” which is my shorthand for four methods to give you an extra push towards making a lasting change. Making the change last requires more than wanting it, so grease the way with some practical techniques.
Permission
You must give yourself permission to look silly, say something wrong, alienate someone etc. You will stuff it up and it will be okay!
(Social permission is super important too which is where the People section below comes in.)
Practice
Do tiny practices — frequently but in small doses. Do a little bit of practicing going Live eg with friends or a smaller group, while continuing to push yourself towards the full enchilada (eg on your page). Maybe a group for a course you’re in. Find a place where it feels okay or even fun to practice. Treat it as practice by letting it be okay to experiment and keep trying.
People
The people around yu can support your new boss habit in at least three ways.
- Unfollow those whose social media makes you feel bad (really do it, even if they’re a leader, your old mentor, your closest competitor, someone who used to feel great to you).
- Block those who (for any reason) you don’t want to see your stuff. It’s okay not to have your uncle’s critical eye on everything right now.
- Most important: a peer group for you — business owners who get it and who can encourage each other by being themselves.
Pragmatics
The fourth “P” is pragmatic, aka practical. How can you make it easier, smoother, less stressful for you? Put on clothes that you feel good in. Arrange to face the window or good lighting. Pick the time of day when you feel social and chatty. Put some notes on a sticky note that’s near your camera. Plan it for a day you have to be dressed for something else. Batch a few whenever you are on a roll.
Conclusion
You can get 1% more comfortable with business visibility.
