One of the first words we discuss deleting from your vocabulary is JUST.
Where do you hear it? The most common example is “Just asking” – adding this at the end of a question to soften it. The result is you are backing off. Not demanding you change, just asking a question. Not holding you accountable, just asking a question.
Many of you have broken that habit and kudos to you on that. Keep going: “Just” in any phrase can go. It is almost always superfluous or counterproductive.
Using “just” is minimising your thing, your question, your offer, your self.
Other minimising language to avoid
Similarly don’t use “little” to describe your amazing products and services, not even if you dress it up as “a wee thing”.
This is super common and you might hate that I’ve pointed it out because you’ll hear it everywhere now. A little side business. Yep I published a book, just a short one. A wee little course I built. Yeehaw, you have a course? You wrote a book? Tell me!
You don’t have to tell us your thing is tiny or new or “just off the top of my head”. It can be amazing, and part of you knows your thing is great. A different part of you might be caught up in comparing the thing as it exists now with the grand vision for its future that you have, but it’s a mistake to allow that comparison. You can describe it “accurately” without diminishing it.
Why I avoid “just” in my classes
A different example: For me when I’m leading a class, putting “just” in front of an instruction is minimising the difficulty of it, or the newness, or individual variations, and it can feel terrible as a student.
If I said right now “Just feel your feet on the floor” that makes it sound like the easiest thing in the world, and yet we all know there are times when that’s completely out of reach.
This is why I don’t say “just be yourself” in a slogan-y way because I know that is a process. (I call it Identity, Agency, and Solidity.)
What to say instead
Sometimes it is enough to leave out the word “just”. Just leave it out, haha!
And sometimes you’ll want a new statement to replace the old one. The powerful phrases I use here include: I am, I am here, this is me.
Note that it doesn’t have to include “and this is awesome” or “I am awesome”. I encourage you to try it with no judgments at all, not even positive ones. “This is me.”
Learn More
The Use Your Words class will show you how to gently shape the voice inside your head into a great advocate for your best future. Learn to avoid the worst red flags and how to talk back to yourself. Watch the calendar for the next live round.
